Age Quod Agis

I've become a sucker for Latin. It's hands down the most beautiful and wisest of the languages, and of course, all the romance languages are based in it (i.e. french, italian, etc.)

I thought I'd give a few phrases that sound awesome and have really cool meanings too.

First off:

Age Quod Agis = Do what you do well/Be present in what you are doing
Adeste Fideles = Be present, faithful ones
Cui Peccare Licet Peccat Minus = One who is allowed to sin, sins less

Then there's:

Dum Spiro, Spero = While I breathe, I hope
Dum Vita Est Spes Est = While there is life, there is hope
Esto Perpetua = Be thou forever/Endure forever/Let it be perpetual

And even more:

A Cruce Salus = Salvation from the Cross/From the Cross, comes salvation
Domine, Dirige Nos = Lord, direct us/Lord guide us
Deus Absconditus = God who is hidden

Finally:

Sic Transit Gloria = Glory fades (Rushmore/Brand New fans? Anyone?)
Nil Desperandum = Never despair

There you go. This concludes your first Latin lesson. Consummatum Est (It is finished).

Cry Myself A River and Row My Boat Ashore

this is my feeble attempt at a worship song. it's my kind of worship song all right!

oh healer wont'choo come?
sit beside me,
lay your warmth upon me
open up my tear ducts
and let it rain down sadness
flush out this madness in me
I can't cry, on my own
I don't know why, even now
can you tell me how?
how to feel a fraction
of the way you do?
oh healer wont'choo come?

A Hymn for the Ghost Man (Who Found His Place In The World and Called It Good)

wanderin through the snow with no shoes on
no clothes to speak of
i don't know where i'm going but it must be somewhere good
neglectin frostbite creeping through my veins
that's the least of my worries
i'm travelin heavenbound
on this cold, cold, "damn it's cold!" ground

i count the dead frozen neath my feet
and stagger on and suck cold air
it's a fools errand with no reward
i started twenty or so years ago
and sacrificed my heart and soul
i'm continuin heavenbound
on this cold, cold, desolate ground

I Am Nothing (That's That)

I am nothing
but air
and cells
and divisions
and vessels
and veins
and sinews
and bones
and blood
and muscles
and skin
and limbs
and heartbeats
and nitrogen
and oxygen
and countless other things that make up my body chemistry that would take far too long to name
but again I am nothing
a body
hurtling
through this life
this existence
this reality
this planet
this year
this month
this week
this day
this hour
this second
right now at the time you would call 12:51 am on a dreary late night in December where I find that I can't go to sleep just yet and realize that I really am sick.
the one person who said they never get sick
has gotten sick
and I feel it
nose stuffed
head hurts
can't think
hard to write these words
I know I'd better get to bed
but do I write more?
or just go to sleep?
I'll write till I can't think of anything more to say and that'll be when I know to get some shut-eye.
I never fully realized the significance of that saying: shut-eye.
I used to think as a kid it meant shudeye, but that makes absolutely no sense.
I started this as a poem but it doesn't seem like one now
I'm not very good at writing poetry though, but who's to say this still isn't a poem?
I say it is!
and why not?
who are you to say what is and isn't?
I declare that what is is and what isn't isn't
and that's that.
is this the end?
yes, it is the end.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

I know this has been done many times over by countless other people, but I did this last month and it was really cool. Now I'm doing it again to see what my results will be. Basically, you put your iTunes playlist on shuffle and use the title of each song to answer these questions. I'll post them with a little commentary on how accurate/eeriely correct they are. Let's get this rolling, first question:

How am I feeling today?
"Unconditional" - The Bravery
('I just want I just want love, I just want somethin for nothin' - yeah I do.)

Will I get far in life?
"I Should Have Known Better" - The Beatles
(Dang, that sucks. The Beatles know everything, even me.)

How do my friends see me?
"Man On The Moon" - cover by Shout Out Louds
(I guess I am a bit of a space case sometimes, and a Andy Kaufman fan.)

Where/When/or even Will I get Married?
"I Knew" - Slick Shoes
('I saw you and I knew, that you were the one for me' - wow, I thought I wouldn't get married.)

What song will I dance to at my wedding reception?
"It Just Is" - Rilo Kiley
(And what a beautiful dance it will be...)

What is my best friend's theme song?
"All I Have" - Haste The Day
(Yeah, pretty spot on considering he really digs Haste The Day.)

What is the story of my life?
"*******" - Jets To Brazil
(Yes! Yes! Yes! JTB! So me, it's uncanny how this one came up.)

What was high school like?
"Danny Boy" - Some unknown Celtic woman
(This song is so haunting and beautiful it gives me goose pimples. That's high school for me all right.)

How am I going to get ahead in life?
"I Know It's Gonna Happen Someday (live)" - Morrissey
(Yes, but how dammit! Tell me how Morrissey!)

What is the best thing about me?
"Coney Island" - Death Cab for Cutie
(That explains nothing actually. Thank you Ben Gibbard.)

How is today going to be?
"Every Dream" - Mourning September
(Okay, cool. I need to start writing my dreams down. I had a crazy one last night and totally forgot about it. It involved bowling, I think.)

What is in store for this weekend?
"A Simple Plan" - Pedro the Lion
(Sweet. I like simple. Probably me jamming on guitar with Felix.)

What song describes my parents?
"The Cape" - Clinic
(Every time I come to this one, the answer never makes any sense.)

My grandparents?
"Tautou" - Brand New
('Sinkin like a stone in the sea, I'm burnin like a bridge for your body' - I want to say yes, but I don't rightly know what I'd be saying yes to.)

How is my life going?
"Nothing Lasts Forever" by Echo & The Bunnymen
(What the hell is that supposed to mean?!)

What song will play at my funeral?
"Deth Kult Social Club" - From Autumn To Ashes
(I could only imagine how that'd go over with my relatives... gosh wow.)

How does the world see me?
"Do Your Best And Don't Worry" - Morrissey
(Another Moz song, yeah this one does suit me oddly.)

Will I have a happy life?
"Education" - Modest Mouse
(Huh? Does that mean I will be making it to grad school after all?)

What do my friends really think of me?
"Remnants" - My Morning Jacket
('There i saw a new heaven, formed in the bleeding light of dusk. All souls, all faiths, always we are one' - Hmm, I guess I am pretty loving of everyone...)

Do people secretly lust after me?
"Matches" - The Format
('Do you remember we made love on the floor and you still haven't called' - Whoa, I think so.)

How can I make myself happy?
"Tears and Rain" - James Blunt
(Wahoo! I'll go cry next time it's raining outside. Just another usual day for Jon.)

What should I do with my life?
"Easy Plateau" - Ryan Adams & The Cardinals
('I want an easy plateau, some place to rest my head' - that's exactly what I need to do, although there aren't that many plateaus in Portland that I can think of.)

Will I ever have children, God forbid?
"Andalucia" - cover by Yo La Tengo
(I assume that will be my first child's name? I dig it. It's a gnarly name.)

What is some good advice for me?
"Hard To Explain" - The Strokes
( 'Pretend to be nice so I can be mean. I missed the last bus. I'll take the next train. I'll try, but you see it's hard to explain.' No fair. I need some good solid advice.)

What is my signature dancing song?
"5-3-10-4" - Alkaline Trio
(I can definitely slam dance to this one.)

What do I think my current theme song is?
"Maps" - The Snake The Cross The Crown
(A good, solid folk song that tugs at your heartstrings, just like me.)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
"Black" - Pete Yorn
(Probably cause 3/4ths of my wardrobe is black.)

What type of men/women do I like?
"Librarian" - My Morning Jacket
(I love the smart, bookish types a lot. Haha.)

If someone says, "Is this okay?" I say?
"Quinn The Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn)" - Bob Dylan
(Oh how I love to be quirky and weird.)

What would best describe my personality?
"Breakthrough" - Modest Mouse
(You could say I'm like a Modest Mouse song and you'd be 100% right.)

What is my life's purpose?
"O Come O Come Emmanuel" - cover by Sufjan Stevens
(Jesus is kinda a big deal in my life, yeah.)

What is my motto?
"Lost at Sea" - Eisley
(Crazy! I am a Seafaring man! Or as Sigur Rós puts it, a 'Sæglópur'.)

What do I think of my best friend?
"In The Lost and Found (Honky Bach)" - Elliott Smith
(My best friend Chris might not agree.)

What do I think about very often?
"I'm The Man Who Loves You" - Wilco
(And that is very true, undeniably.)

What do I think of the person I like?
"Breaking The Broken" - Sparta
('And you should know, only you control my heart. Feelings overshadow reason, blocks out everything. And all that matters should be me and you' - that says it all.)

What do I want to be when I grow up? (assuming I haven't grown up already)
"Everyday" - cover by Rogue Wave
(I want to be a musician, that's what and play Buddy Holly covers)

What are my hobbies/interests?
"Bad Dream Mama (Live)" - Eagles of Death Metal
(My hobbies do consist of being sexy and playing Death Metal.)

What do my parents think of me?
"How To Be Dead" - Snow Patrol
(Oh fantastic.)

What is my biggest secret?
"I Still Remember" - Bloc Party
('You should have asked me for it, I would have been brave. You should have asked me for it. How could I say no?' - Doesn't quite answer it for me personally, but I love this song anyway.)

What is one thing I regret?
"Pressed In A Book" - The Shins
('Did i strike the right set of chords? you're annoyed. The goal is to ignite you then move on.' - Half true I guess.)

What makes me laugh?
"Dinner At The Money Table" - The Early November
(Jeez, yeah. Broken relationships that end in heartbreak really put me in stitches.)

What makes me cry?
"Get Behind Me, Santa!" - Sufjan Stevens
(I f@#%ing hate Santa Claus! Ahh! Kill him! This song is all about the over-commercialization of Christmas. 'I don't care about what you say, Santa Claus. You're a bad brother breaking into people's garage.' It's supposed to be all about Jesus.)

What scares me the most?
"Liar (It Takes One To Know One)" - Taking Back Sunday
(I am pretty afraid of liars. They suck a lot. Please don't lie to me.)

What hurts right now?
"You Can Have It All" - Yo La Tengo
(Sad. There's nothing left for me.)

What's the worst thing that could happen?
"Time Won't Let Me" - The Zombies
(Yeah that would be bad.)

How will I die?
"Solace" - Project 86
(Oh good. I thought I'd die poor and alone.)

If there was a Delorean that could go back in time, what would I change?
"Broken Bones" - Aqualung
(I haven't broken any of my bones - knock on wood.)

What will I post this as?
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" - Death Cab for Cutie
(Flippin amazing song! Yes indeed!)

That certainly took a long time, but it was worth it for the answers. There's always a few that are dead on target. I'm gonna try this again next month and see what answers I get then. You should definitely try this if you haven't already. Do it!

Oh Colin...

So yes, I was privileged enough to go to The Decemberists at the Crystal Ballroom on Saturday with my English friend Piet. We got in free as his sister-in-law Kim is a top-notch photographer and she was able to get us on the guestlist! It was amazing! So come showtime, the place is packed out with people of all ages (from about 10 years old - up to 50 yrs.) I never knew that The Decemberists had such a diverse fanbase. They rule, so I guess everyone listens to them.

After the opening act (Loch Lomond - wasn't digging 'em all that much, although Piet did) shuffled off and we were forced to wait for what seemed like hours, they took the stage to clatterings and chiming and all sorts of mish-mashings of sound and funkiness which eventually coalesced into Shanty For the Arethusa! They kept up the pace with a little Billy Liar action and followed it with Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect. After that trifecta of awesomeness, Colin and crew played 3 new songs from their Always The Bridesmaid singles series in succession of brilliance - Valerie Plame, O New England, and Record Year. Each of these new songs showed a poppier, sunnier, and some may say Belle & Sebastian-esque side of The Decemberists. I was thoroughly enjoying meself. Following the new ones, they busted out The Island: Come and See/The Landlord's Daughter/You'll Not Feel The Drowning in all its 12 minute glory. Then they launched into The Engine Driver to much applause by me and everyone in attendance. Sadly, they didn't play On The Bus Mall. I was lucky enough to snag the set list at the end of the show and On The Bus Mall was listed in between The Engine Driver and the song they ended up playing after it was a new one called Days of Elaine. They hopped back to Crane Wife with The Perfect Crime # 2, then a song I recently heard for the first time but wasn't on Crane wife called The Culling Of The Fold. Earlier in the show, people had yelled out "Valenica! Play Valencia!" as in their song O Valenica! Someone else responded by saying, "Play whatever the fuck you want!" They did play O Valencia! later on and we all sang dutifully along. Their song before the encore was 16 Military Wives, one of my favs off Picaresque. Colin would hold his hand up to his head and salute right before the chorus and we'd all salute with him. Colin was hilarious and had amazing audience relation skills. He got everyone to sing all together at the end of Billy Liar. He was a bit wary of the balcony people and said, "I didn't hear you people in the balcony. I know it was low but I'm keeping my eye on you tonight. I'm concerned. I feel like you're not gonna be fully involved in this. That's very troubling to me. You look like you're up to no good. So I'm keeping my eye on you." After thinking it couldn't get any better, Colin and John the drummer came out and did a short song called Raincoat, then the full band came back out and they topped the whole thing off with Sons & Daughters! All their friends, and family, and Loch Lomond came on and we all sang the last line of the song together, "Here all the bombs fade away" It was bliss. Pure unbridled bliss. I went home that night with a hop in my step and a flutter in my chest. What a great spectacle it was. Plus I got the set list from a ravenous group of teenage girls. It couldn't have ended up any better. Thank you Colin, Jenny, John, Nate and Chris for giving me the show of a lifetime!

When Our Feet Touch The Bottom (That's How I'll Know)

This is about the 10th or 11th song I've written this past month (November). I like to think of it as a fun sorta song about how a person may think their life is going good and proper when in actuality it's crumbling apart and they're just letting it all unfold, not lifting a finger to change its course. I was going to call it Quick Sand but that was just way too cliché for me. I think it's in the key of C#:

I think there's a communication breakdown
there must be some kinda trouble
I'm paralyzed and can't make a sound
my heartbeat, I think it's doubled
thought we was standin on solid ground
turns out we was sinkin in quick sand
shall we grasp hands 'fore we slip down?
you grab my hand but it slips outta yer hand

I'm sinkin down down down
we're sinkin down down down
there's nobody around round round
hush, don't make a sound sound sound

The more you fight it the worse it gets
take a deep breath, your last one
and sink to the bottom

1 Corinthians 15:51 (Mystery and Victory)

I felt like writing a poem/lament psalm in the vein of Bradley Hathaway. I tried not to rip off his style completely. This is more or less what I'd call a lament psalm:

let this sadness envelope me
like a blanket of shame and swollen misery
so cold and heavy it is
so tiresome and worrying it is
to be so bothered and smothered
by my own shortcomings and failings
that i can't come to grips
with this pain that rips
it's way through
my arteries and ventricles
i am only a humble vessel
a poor human, nothing special
that's been used and abused
these past two decades
my pain, no doubt it wanes
but sometimes it swells
to an interminable size
so you see why i stumble
why i'm splitting at the seams?
why i'm clawing at the very corners of my dreams?
i'm as they say, "lost at sea, a lonely seafarer!"
my allusions are too vague however
and my metaphors so weak
my prose isn't all that clever
but out of my sadness, a solemn voice speaks
"You are not lost you wretched little thing!
Whoever put the thought in your poor little mind?"
the voice echoes, reverberates, then dissipates
as quick as it comes, so hastily it goes
and here i am again
left to propose,
am i alone?
not really.